i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize