Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
