I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I had to cum in my sink.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
