Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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