I want to make a zoo with you.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
