i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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