I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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