DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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