do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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