no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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