I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If I had your ass I would rule the world
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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