I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
