If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
