Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
