so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
