I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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