Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize