He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
