i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
