i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
