The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
