You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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