I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
