This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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