you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I need a hoe opinion
go on
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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