Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
