I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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