If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
