so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
