i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize