Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
