a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize