I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
