so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Randomize
