Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
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