i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
