I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
