You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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