This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
