I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
