my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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