I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
