Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
