Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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