dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
