At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
