buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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