I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
