May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
