I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
