Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
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