"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Randomize
