see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
