Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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