Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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