what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
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