Sacagawea was the original milf.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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